Hi Jeff, excellent write-up on the topic. I agree that literature may have lost a fine wordsmith when you chose to go into law!
I subscribe to your view: whereas the Analog Shift specimen does look the part and oozes class, the other one simply does not.
The dark hands on dark subdial is the proverbial straw the breaks the camel's back - it is simply so "un-Heuer".
Cheers,
Fabrizio