zOwie Omega Discussion Forum

Of course there's one little catch. Some of us try to maintain honest relationships with our partners. While one could possibly get away with this type of chicanery it wouldn't say much it about the mutual respect and trust of the relationship.

I know your suggestion was mostly tongue in cheek (at least I hope so). However, there a little truth in all humor. Given the sorry state of so many marriages, I'm sure your scam would work.

As for me I'd rather get my wife's agreement that it would be OK to spend a good sized chunk of our joint resources for a non-critical gift for me. Besides this being the honest approach, I would derive much more pleasure from it knowing I didn't have to hide or lie about my new aquisition.

: Wives who know nothing about watches, and are
: even more perplexed by this bizarre little
: hobby, generally have no idea what is in the
: collection or how they got there. One thing
: they "do" know however, are bank
: accounts and financial situations. So here
: are some standard answers to wives, when
: pressed for details. The more watches you
: have, the better it works so start
: collecting!

: "That's nice, is that new?"
: "No, I've had it a long time. Do you like
: it??"

: "I don't remember seeing that one. Where
: did you get that?"
: "I traded that old vintage one to Derek
: Ziglar."

: (Any common names will work in this situation.
: Derek Ziglar, Keith Downing, Chuck Maddox
: etc. Someone overseas like Derek Duncan is
: particularly useful. She knows these people
: exist, but has no idea who they are or where
: they are.)

: "I thought that watch had a black
: face."
: "Well, it did. I had it redialled."
: "How much did that cost?"
: "Nothing. The black dials are worth more
: than the blue dials, so they do an even
: swap."

: "Honey, what's this $1,200 cash
: withdrawal?"
: "I have absolutely no idea." (This is
: a very temporary solution obviously. She
: will look into it. But it buys you time to
: come up with a good answer for having been
: so stupid to be caught off guard.)

: "Honey, did you remember what that $1,200
: cash withdrawal was for"?
: "I was hoping you would'nt notice."
: (Women believe men to be inherently stupid
: so she'll buy this explanation.) "I've
: got one word for you. Christmas!" This
: works up to about October 15th. It gives you
: time to come up with a really good lie
: before Christmas, or a chance to juggle some
: numbers etc., and pray she forgets about it,
: which she won't. But no matter, you're happy
: with your new watch.

: "Is that the same strap?" (Still
: annoyed over being so stupid as to get
: caught on the money issue, generally
: snapping back is the best solution.)
: "Geez honey! Do you actually pay attention
: to anything I'm interested in!?!" She
: will assume there is some deep meaning for
: your upset, and immediately forget the brand
: new Hirsch carbon fiber strap.

: ***Remember, these are just some helpful hints.
: I have not copyrighted the foregoing, so
: feel free to use them. Also, be creative!
: Feigning injury is also very useful. When
: asked a question while you are off guard,
: double over if seated, grab your side and
: say, "Oh God, what was that!?!" If
: you're called into another room where she is
: examining one of your watches and asks,
: "Have you always had this?",
: pretend to sprain your ankle as you turn the
: corner into the room. Sit down, grab your
: ankle, and rub it. Adding something like,
: "Sorry honey. I broke my ankle in a
: high school football game once, and it's
: never been the same." Not only will she
: feel guilty about having called you into the
: room in the first place, her love for you
: combined with genuine concern, will make her
: forget about the watch.

: You see, it's all smoke and mirrors, slight of
: hand, an illusion. Like any good magician,
: it takes practice, practice, practice!!

: Good luck!